Chaos

I am fortunate enough to say that I really don’t know anyone that has been through too much turmoil in their life. We all have had ups and downs but no too many hard times. My niece, however has been through so much. My cousin (niece’s mom) was supposed to be the person who made our family proud. She was genius in our eyes. Reading and writing at an exceptionally young age, Melissa had so much pressure on her to be perfect. Not only did she have pressure from her parents, but all of our aunts and uncles expected the best from her as well. But when she got pregnant at the beginning of her senior year in high school, the family was devastated. Melissa planned on graduating and staying home to take care of her daughter. But our family had another plan for her. She was still going to go away to college. Each one of my aunts vowed to take care of and raise her daughter Jasmine. Jasmine was born into the most chaotic lifestyle that a child could live in. Not knowing who was going to take care of her and keep her everyday while her mother was away in college. It could be assumed that the first few years of her life Jasmine may not know who her mother is. While she was away my cousin Melissa realized that she no longer had the stress of the family on her. She became a lover of alcohol and drugs and was in no way ready to be the mother of a preschooler when she returned home. But when she graduated she was expected to take care of her responsibilities. Jasmine spent many nights alone while her mother ran the streets, she would take good care of her mother when she was passed out and drunk. I remember going to visit them one afternoon to find my five year old niece making hot tea for her mom who was sprawled out on the couch wearing nothing but her underwear. I really think Jasmine’s coping mechanism was the important feeling she had when she had to take care of her mother. She also had great aunts and uncles who would do their best to make sure that she was taken care of. She still lives in an extremely chaotic situation. While her mother has cleaned up her act, it is still hard for them to connect, and poor Jasmine is displaying some of her mothers behaviors and she is only 15. Now my niece deals with the stresses of her life by turning to social media and making jokes about it. We have an amazing relationship and talk all the time, but the distance between us makes it hard. Jasmine desires attention and it may be too late for her mom to give it to her. But she loves it from myself and one of her favorite uncles. We work really hard to make her life less chaotic. Sadly we can’t do it all. 

I could not find much information on children who deal with the same stresses as my niece, but I did find some information on children in Haiti who deal with chaos. The children of Haiti have been through so much. After dealing with the stress of the earthquake and losing so many people close to them it is clear that they have dealt with a lot of chaos. One thing that I read in the article about the chaos they dealt with was that through it all they still remained children. They played soccer in the street and flew kites over the rubble. Even though their entire country was dealing with a major crisis they still tried to enjoy themselves. This is one thing I can say my niece did. She put up with a lot but she still had fun in and through her adversity. But the chaos that the children in Haiti suffered was far greater than my nieces situation. So many of them lost their parents to the earthquake. With no family and no home, it is really hard for a child to move forward. Many child orphanages are doing their best to service the number of children who are left without parents and family. Orphanages cannot take the place of children’s parents and the turmoil that they have faced, but it can relieve the stress of children living on the street with no where to go and no one to turn to. 

Reference: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/27/world/americas/27children.html?pagewanted=all

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Statistics from Around the World

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is one of the leading causes for Infant deaths. It's is something that happens suddenly and shows no sign of pain or discomfort for the baby. Working in a child care center I have found myself being very various about the way I lay babies to sleep. In my center we ensure that every teacher is well trained on the importance of SIDS prevention and the safety of our little ones. We have to ensure that infants are laid to sleep on their backs when we put them in cribs. If they can roll over then they will do so on their own. We also have to ensure that all cribs are free of toys, stuffed animals  and or bumbers. We also have to ensure that babies do not fall asleep in bouncing seats, swings, or car seats. We also have to ensure that pillows are not used, and blankets are properly tucked on three sides and cross at the breast line of the child. This is truly a hard task! But no one wants to be responsible for causing the death of an Infant, especially knowing all of the proper precautions that one can take.
Learning more about SIDS makes me want to ensure even more that my staff and I are always making the best decisions for the children. Since we have the highest SIDS rate in the  Unites States, I feel the strong responsibility to make sure that no child on my watch is added to this continuously rising rate. I feel the strong responsibility to educate as many parents and friends as I possibly can.

I am totally fascinated by the birthing process and I look forward to the chance that I get to experience it first hand. It truly is one of the most fascinating things in the world. But while I am intrigued by the birthing process, even when given my own opportunity I don’t want to see one. Lots of blood makes me weak. People tell me that it will be different when I have my own, but as of right now, I don’t even think I can look at my child when they first come out of the womb. I have been invited to share the experience with several friends, but I declined and showed my support from the waiting room. My mother tells me that my birthing experience was a very long one. She says that I was just as stubborn in the womb as I am now. Thirty-something hours, as she recalls it, of pain and failed epidurals lead to the final decision of making me an only child. She refers to the last minutes as one of the most relieving feelings. Once my head made it out my mother says the rest was smooth sailing. I asked her if she had the same reservations as I do, with my fear of blood, but she tells me that it was so great to see this baby that had been growing in her stomach for the last 10 months that it just did not matter. Her heart was filled with joy and could not believe that something so small came out of her. It was great to hear her tell me this story. She had never shared her feelings about my birth with me before. I cannot wait to have this experience and share these same feelings with a child of my own. 

My lovely mother and I:

My parents are Jamaican so I wanted to look up how birthing is different there, versus in the U.S. Jamaicans recently started going to the hospital to give birth. For years birthing has taken place in the home with the assistance of a midwife and or a nana. Now as they prepare for birthing in Jamaica, it is mandatory that an open bible is displayed in the room. Mom’s belly will be anointed with caster oil. Upon arrival the babies naval is dressed with nutmeg, smoke is blown into the child’s eyes, and the nana washes her face with rum, and sometimes takes a drink. Drinking the rum is to help fix her eyes. After seeing childbirth, it is believed that your eyes are affected. Mom and baby are isolated for eight days and nana takes over the house until mom is back on her feet. I asked some of the women in my family if they followed these traditions even though they gave birth in the states. For the most part my family members have been very consistent and share the traditions with the younger generation as they get pregnant. (My aunt was rather frustrated that I learned all of this via the internet and the family didn’t have the chance to tell me). I gained a lot from this experience. I got even more excited about my chance to have a child. I am excited about allowing my family to teach me more Jamaican traditions. 

References:

http://jamaica-gleaner.com/pages/history/story0079.html