Chaos

I am fortunate enough to say that I really don’t know anyone that has been through too much turmoil in their life. We all have had ups and downs but no too many hard times. My niece, however has been through so much. My cousin (niece’s mom) was supposed to be the person who made our family proud. She was genius in our eyes. Reading and writing at an exceptionally young age, Melissa had so much pressure on her to be perfect. Not only did she have pressure from her parents, but all of our aunts and uncles expected the best from her as well. But when she got pregnant at the beginning of her senior year in high school, the family was devastated. Melissa planned on graduating and staying home to take care of her daughter. But our family had another plan for her. She was still going to go away to college. Each one of my aunts vowed to take care of and raise her daughter Jasmine. Jasmine was born into the most chaotic lifestyle that a child could live in. Not knowing who was going to take care of her and keep her everyday while her mother was away in college. It could be assumed that the first few years of her life Jasmine may not know who her mother is. While she was away my cousin Melissa realized that she no longer had the stress of the family on her. She became a lover of alcohol and drugs and was in no way ready to be the mother of a preschooler when she returned home. But when she graduated she was expected to take care of her responsibilities. Jasmine spent many nights alone while her mother ran the streets, she would take good care of her mother when she was passed out and drunk. I remember going to visit them one afternoon to find my five year old niece making hot tea for her mom who was sprawled out on the couch wearing nothing but her underwear. I really think Jasmine’s coping mechanism was the important feeling she had when she had to take care of her mother. She also had great aunts and uncles who would do their best to make sure that she was taken care of. She still lives in an extremely chaotic situation. While her mother has cleaned up her act, it is still hard for them to connect, and poor Jasmine is displaying some of her mothers behaviors and she is only 15. Now my niece deals with the stresses of her life by turning to social media and making jokes about it. We have an amazing relationship and talk all the time, but the distance between us makes it hard. Jasmine desires attention and it may be too late for her mom to give it to her. But she loves it from myself and one of her favorite uncles. We work really hard to make her life less chaotic. Sadly we can’t do it all. 

I could not find much information on children who deal with the same stresses as my niece, but I did find some information on children in Haiti who deal with chaos. The children of Haiti have been through so much. After dealing with the stress of the earthquake and losing so many people close to them it is clear that they have dealt with a lot of chaos. One thing that I read in the article about the chaos they dealt with was that through it all they still remained children. They played soccer in the street and flew kites over the rubble. Even though their entire country was dealing with a major crisis they still tried to enjoy themselves. This is one thing I can say my niece did. She put up with a lot but she still had fun in and through her adversity. But the chaos that the children in Haiti suffered was far greater than my nieces situation. So many of them lost their parents to the earthquake. With no family and no home, it is really hard for a child to move forward. Many child orphanages are doing their best to service the number of children who are left without parents and family. Orphanages cannot take the place of children’s parents and the turmoil that they have faced, but it can relieve the stress of children living on the street with no where to go and no one to turn to. 

Reference: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/27/world/americas/27children.html?pagewanted=all